Head Heart and Hands Excerpt
Head, Heart, and Hands is a private email exchange that took place over three years. This short, representative excerpt is from pages 83-88:
Subject: Seeing the light — feeling the heat
Hi bill,
Well…you weren’t kidding about fastening my seatbelt!
I read your email last night and then again this morning over coffee. I don’t know if “disorienting” is the right word—maybe clarifying is better, even though it’s uncomfortable to see where i’ve been hiding.
You called it out perfectly: i’ve definitely been a “chameleon chiropractor.” Trying to be palatable to everyone, overexplaining to skeptics, softening my language so i wouldn’t seem “too alternative,” and basically sanding down every sharp edge. I thought i was being professional and relatable, but reading your words, it’s obvious i was just being…beige.
It’s humbling—and honestly a little liberating—to name it.
And you’re right: it’s exhausting to keep scanning every patient’s face for micro-signals of loyalty or approval. And now that i see it, i can’t unsee it. It makes total sense why patients are drawn to doctors who radiate certainty and conviction, even if they don’t agree with everything. No one wants to follow someone who isn’t sure where they’re going.
I love the magnet metaphor. The idea that i can’t attract without simultaneously repelling feels both obvious and revolutionary. It also explains why some of the chiropractors i admire most are the ones with the clearest, most unapologetic stance—even if it means they lose people who aren’t aligned.
So yes—this is incredibly helpful. In fact, this feels like the missing link between all the “new patient tactics” i’ve heard about and why some of them never quite felt authentic.
If you’re willing, i’d love to keep exploring this. Are there any other metaphysical elements you see as foundational to new patient generation?
I feel like we’re getting to the good stuff. I appreciate it soooo much.
Harrison
On Dec 15, 2016, at 9:02 AM, William Esteb <bill@patientmedia.com> wrote:
Hi Harrison
Lest I start ranting on a soapbox, here are some metaphysical aspects we could explore. Tell me which ones, if any, are worthy of going deeper:
New patient self-talk.
Doing vs. being.
Selling face time.
Finding your tribe.
Bill
Subject: New patient self-talk
Hi bill,
Appreciate you giving me a menu—though for the record, your soapboxes have been some of the best emails i’ve ever read.
The one that jumps out at me most from your list is the new patient self-talk.
I’ve never really thought much about the little internal monologue that runs in the background when i think about attracting new people. I have a hunch it’s probably way more influential (and maybe more toxic) than i realize.
If you’re up for it, i’d love to go deeper there first.
Harrison
On Dec 17, 2016, at 7:24 AM, William Esteb <bill@patientmedia.com> wrote:
Hi Harrison
Good call.
I assert that new patients (and everything else) manifests spiritually before showing up physically. And I distinguish spirit as being the force that animates us and vacates upon our death. Much different than religion, which is manmade, and used to justify all manner of violence and injustice.
The orientation of your heart, your intention, your motives and your reason for wanting new patients is where it all begins—in fact it’s probably more important than what you speak aloud.
If you recognize that your new patient marketing efforts have been about serving you and your needs, be mindful that success literature reminds us that our needs are only met after fulfilling
the needs of others. In other words, help prospective patients get what they want, and then, and only then, will you get what you want.
When you reverse this, hellbent on satisfying your needs first, you’ll find that growing a chiropractic practice is an endless uphill battle. Into a headwind.
In far too many chiropractic practices, it plays out something like this: You notice that you have numerous openings in your schedule, and you may not say it out loud, but to yourself, “I need more new patients.” Or you’re balancing your checkbook or reviewing your statistics and you notice your income is down and say to yourself, “I need more new patients.”
This mantra is quite destructive. Because when you repeat it again and again, your thoughts, words, and deeds start aligning with this perceived shortage, scarcity, and void that you’re asserting exists, deepening its effects.
What’s worse, is when you repeatedly tell the universe, “I need more new patients,” the universe tends to acquiesce, delivering the “need” for more new patients. In other words, your perceived “need” is NOT what you want to be focusing on.
What would be a more positive, resourceful way to talk to yourself about this underutilized capacity of yours to help more people?
Here are some alternatives:
We’re seeing more and more new patients.
I have the desire and capacity to help more people.
More and more people are seeking out our practice.
People want what we offer.
Our practice is attracting people we can help.
And my favorite: Who else can we serve?
It may seem like a strange way to neutralize a new customer issue in your practice but get your heart congruent with your self-talk and you become more attractive—not just to patients, but to everyone you meet.
Bill
Subject: Selling face time
Hi bill,
That last email hit me in a place i didn’t expect.
I’ve heard about “scarcity mindset” but never applied it to something as practical as new patients. Reading your examples, it’s clear i’ve been reinforcing the exact void i keep saying i want to fill. Your line, “When you reverse this, hellbent on satisfying your needs first, you’ll find that growing a chiropractic practice is an endless uphill battle,” is probably something i’ll be quoting back to myself for a long time.
You’re right: the “i need more new patients” mantra has been running on a loop in my head since graduation. I can see how it shows up in the way i talk to people, the way i track numbers, even the way i feel when someone doesn’t schedule. It’s sobering to realize how much i’ve been operating out of lack, rather than service.
I love the alternative statements you shared. I actually copied them onto a sticky note and put it on my laptop. Feels like a small but important step in reprogramming that internal monologue.
If you’re willing, i’d like to keep going.
Could you unpack what you meant by selling face time? I’ve never heard that before, but something tells me it’s another area i probably need to look at.
Harrison