It’s tempting to take it personally when patients refuse to follow your care recommendations or are unwilling to partner with you.

Their lack of cooperation may have other explanations:

Authority – Perhaps they see you as an authority figure and bristle from anyone who wants to control or direct them.

Head fake – Maybe you assumed that the way they nodded during your explanations signaled their acceptance.

Dr. Google – It’s possible an Internet search has suggested cautionary advice that conflicts with yours.

Self-worth – As a self-sacrificer, they may not consider themselves worthy of spending the time or money on themselves.

Values – Perhaps they place a higher value things other than their health, such as looking good, status, etc.

Secondary gains – Maybe being a victim offers secondary advantages.

You can make their rejection about you—what you said, what you forgot to say, and countless other nuances.

But it’s likely them, not you.

Bill Esteb has been a chiropractic patient and advocate since 1981. He is the creative director of Patient Media and the co-founder of Perfect Patients. He’s been a regular speaker at chiropractic gatherings since 1985. His 12 books explore the doctor/patient relationship from a patient's point of view. His chiropractic blog, coaching program, patient focus groups and consulting calls have helped hundreds of chiropractors around the world. Since 1999 Monday Morning Motivation has been emailed to over 10,000 subscribers each week.